Wednesday 16 Jan 2019
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News for confidence on Wednesday 16 Jan 2019

Improve With Age and Increase Your Confidence (Lifestyle Therapy)

Susan Leigh is a long established Counsellor and Hypnotherapist. For more information visit

Becoming older often fills people with dread. Each new decade brings with it a marker on the road away from youth, but each milestone also brings with it new opportunities too. On our journey through life we will have seen and experienced many different challenges. And as such, nothing is likely to fill us with the same concern, panic or apprehension that may well have happened in years gone by. We have gained the life experience and sophistication to deal with things in a more confident, relaxed and appropriate way.

I often talk about an older colleague I once knew who was invited to join the young lads from the office for a game of football. They raced up and down the pitch,whilst he simply looked from side to side, moved in, took possession of the ball and scored a goal, over and over again. His experience was far more valuable than their ill-directed energy and enthusiasm. When you combine the two ingredients of older experience and younger energy and enthusiasm then you have a dynamic recipe for success.

Getting older can be just like a good wine. As it matures it mellows and becomes smooth and very palatable. We, as we get older have the life skills and more philosophical approach not yet achieved by a younger person. We can weigh things up without the need to panic, knowing that things frequently turn out okay in the end. We have been there and done it all before.

We can take a training course and choose not to take the exams unless we want to. We can do things for their own sake, out of interest. There will often not be the same issues about childcare, career progression, mortgages. Or the same anxieties about how we look, what size we are, how much we weigh.

One of the important things to appreciate as we get older is that we do not have to race around, trying to cram as much as possible into each busy day. Often older people have the luxury of time. Time that can be spent tending the garden or visiting an art gallery or a stately home. It can also be spent doing the things that we wanted to do when we were too busy with young children, career, heavy bills to pay. Appreciate the opportunities that this situation brings. They are a gift to be enjoyed and relished. So why not book that trip to Nepal, or take up wind surfing or long distance cycling.

Many groups have been set up to support older people and the many various interests and opportunities that they wish to pursue. Maintaining fitness is an important area to invest in and many groups provide timetables for single people and couples to go walking, join classes or pursue more energetic activities like hill walking, hiking and assorted water sports. Then there are many different discussion, educational and hobby groups. Making the effort to join in with what is available can bring valuable rewards Ė friends, interests, exercise, motivation.

The truth is, as we get older we can look at the important things in life and appreciate them. We have the maturity and confidence to see beyond a personís appearance, clothes, status and appreciate their spiritual depth or their life experiences, and value them. We may hear a personís story and be more empathic about it, being able to relate to what is being said. We can give sound advice and counsel based on our own personal experiences. We can share our wisdom and provide support and guidance to others.

This wisdom and confidence can be directed to support young people through advice or mentoring and help them to enhance their skills and achieve their goals. When that happens both ends of the life experience spectrum can combine to make the most of their particular qualities and strengths.

Susan Leigh, Counsellor and Hypnotherapist

For further information: Improve With Age and Increase Your Confidence

Lifestyle Therapy
3 Alstone Drive
Oldfield Brow
WA14 4LD
United Kingdom
Telephone 0161 928 7880
News Ref:2426

Will Cosmetic Surgery Help Me to Feel Better About Myself ? (Lifestyle Therapy)

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who treats people with issues of low self confidence, self esteem and poor body image. For more information see

In these days of high profile celebrity adulation and multi-media coverage of peoples' lives we are constantly besieged by images of glamorous and idealised faces and bodies. Sometimes these images are rated by the media in a positive and complimentary way, other times they receive vicious and negative criticism. This assessment of the perfect look is absorbed by us over a long period of time and we grow up knowing how we 'should' look if we want to be seen as attractive and successful.

Botox and facial fillers are now regarded as such a normal part of the beauty regimen, that botox parties are common place, where several ladies meet up and the beauty therapist attends and treats them all. In fact botox is often referred to as 'mothers' little helper'.

With so much emphasis upon appearance, it is no surprise that vulnerable groups feel under increasing pressure to look good. Young people, boys as well as girls, often struggle with their opinion of their bodies, boys wanting to bulk up and be more muscular, girls often wanting bigger breasts.

Older people, too, are feeling under pressure to fight aging, and keep themselves looking young, especially if they want to continue to be successful and viable. Whilst it is important to look after oneself, to make an effort to be smart and attractive, it is also important to find a balance in life too. In some areas of the press, attitudes are starting to change a little, with some people now beginning to acknowledge that a face has to have character, that we are all different, that everyone does not have to have the same look, that the differences are attractive and interesting.

Becoming fixated upon appearance and feeling that that is the most important aspect of who we are, leads to an endless cycle of self criticism and despair. There will always be something that is perceived by ourselves or others as being in need of changing and improving. This can become almost a form of body dysmorphic disorder, where an aspect of the body is felt to be wrong and that things in life will not be fine until that part is sorted out, or, in extreme cases, removed.

Many reputable cosmetic surgery clinics now counsel their clients prior to surgery because they appreciate that it is a significant step to take. There is a growing sense of the importance of being aware and responsible about the mental state of their clients. No amount of surgery will change what is on the inside and if a person has low self esteem then it is important to address that issue first.

So let us look at things to consider before taking the cosmetic surgery route.
  • Clarify the reasons for wanting surgery. Feeling imperfect, unattractive, 'I am not good enough', are all issues that need to be dealt with through counselling first.

  • Think back to when these negative feelings about your appearance started. Is there a root cause ? Are there times when things feel better or worse ? Are there ways to increase the good times and manage the bad times more effectively ?

  • Remember, what is on the inside cannot be changed by surgery. You will still be the same person after the procedure.

  • If there is an issue of low self esteem then it is important to attend to that first. I have counselled clients who were bullied at school for being too thin, too boyish or too tall and felt that a breast enhancement or some other procedure was the answer to their insecurities. Sort out the old issues and then see how you feel.

  • Other people are usually more preoccupied with themselves and how they look. They are usually not too concerned with the size of someone else's breasts or other body parts.

  • Think of other ways to improve your body image first. Cosmetic surgery is a major invasive procedure. So try exercise, better diet, ways to manage stress, better sleeping habits, stop smoking and excessive drinking. Some people find that they feel much more positive after an image overhaul, where they update their hairstyle, clothes, makeup.
All these are ways that can help a person feel more in control of their body, looks, habits and so improve self esteem and self confidence. This is a much better time to then decide about having a cosmetic surgery procedure. It should add value to you and your life, not be the answer to any personal issues and concerns.

For further information: Will Cosmetic Surgery Help Me to Feel Better About Myself ?

Lifestyle Therapy
3 Alstone Drive
Oldfield Brow
WA14 4LD
United Kingdom
Telephone 0161 928 7880
News Ref:1982

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